Smile For the Camera

A snapshot perfect memory
So-called candid imagery
Stopped mid-way, poses set
Sometimes real, sometimes fake
But always forever kept
In times, for the camera, we make

Prediction of Addiction

The soft steps steady still

Uncertain of presence until

Met with the cold tips and warm fill

Then comes the melodious trill

From the first silent step

Is the walk of prediction

What promise to yourself kept?

Move straight to the addiction

As if possessed and unable to derail

Push away the constant nag

Continue and won’t go off the trail

Everything is under control, in the bag

Disregard warning of any means

Wanting so it will come

Who listens when you’re but a teen?

Acting deaf, mute, and dumb

Trekking along so unseen

Adults and kids overlap more than we deem

Still there lays arguments beefed and lean

The true hazard classified a dream

Knew of the drama

Knew of the pain

Knew of the trauma

And wished for the gain

Prediction of addiction proven and correct

Yet still always clueless in almost every sect

New Horizon

Endings rarely wanted

Kicked about and put off

Not allowing stops haunted

At them you simply scoff

Better off living in familiar safety

Being constant and forever young

Where you know each and every

Where you can try blocking what stung

But covering up and burying reality

Faking until you yourself believe

Does not work as well as thought out to be

Pretending while your heart grieves

But a new horizon is upon us and spreading

That sun scorching lies is now setting

Pitied, So Sorry

The shadows call

The devil’s choir summons

The whispers in his head

The constant pitying looks from the corners of their eyes

Sorry after sorry, apologies splayed

As if they mend broken hearts

As if they calm troubled souls

As if they tame the raging emotions

People think they can slip past on two-faced facades

Thinking he won’t see past their false comforting hold

Believing he won’t notice their imagined situations

Assuming he won’t realize their counterfeit sympathy

Wanting to please everyone is not an easy feat

Repenting seems much simpler

But it reaches a point

Where it all boils over icy

Where it all freezes over scorching

Where the dry rain no longer quenches hunger

Where common sense is questioned

Where societal norms are revealed under new light

Where common sense no longer seems right

Where something, just a little thing, snaps

Where insides jumble into a tangled mess

Where no change shows apparent outwardly

Preying off of self deceit and continuation of all he knows

Tilting from slight smiles to tortured silence

Laughing away people’s doubts

Internally searching and seeking and coming short of an answer

Time dulls the blade’s edge

Time weakens the claw’s pull

Time stifles the banshee’s wails

Time muddies memories unforgotten

But broken blades still cut

Soft clawing leaves marks

Whispered wails shrill eerily

And all the dirt and mud piled thick

Would not erase the lines of graffiti’d concrete underneath

The sane world he lived litters with altered comprehension

Judge Me

Complete strangers

Possibly have met just now

But already lingers

This label on me you endow

What was this impression summoned from?

My face, hair, eyes?

Was it because of where I’m from?

Or the way I said hello; so now it must be goodbye?

Either way it’s engraved

Near impossible to erase

Forever in your memory enslaved

From this one foundation and base

But how do you know what to decide?

So certain so early on?

By what rules and regulations do you abide?

Are we simply in a game as simply pawns?

Is there something we are destined to be?

Is it how we are to be?

Is it who we are meant to be?

Is there no way around what people expect us to be?

Even if we are not at all what they believe

They won’t be completely swayed otherwise

Thinking we have something to hide up our sleeve

That we’re in one of our multitudes, a complex disguise

When you haven’t even gotten to know who I am really,

When you do not see what is below the surface level,

When you think my entire life’s experience shows externally,

When you pinpoint me with your judgment disheveled

Already you think I’ve done wrong

Pulling me aside with “reasonable” reasons

That right given to you and another taken from me – if it was even there all along

Because with this profiling, who’s to be sure of anything – let alone judgment’ seasons?

From such insecurities of differences

Afraid of those not just like you in beliefs as well as appearance

Displaying strongly your preferences

Because your views are shadowed by your bigotry and ignorance

So go ahead and judge me

But I won’t keep it at heart

Because opinions such are yours don’t matter, you see

Your definition does not define me, not even a part

I know it makes you feel better about yourself

But it shouldn’t to bring down others as pariahs and monsters

When you cannot even accept your faults on shelf

No criminal act outside could erase these blunders, no matter what you’d prefer

In time reality will catch up to you, down to each muscle and bone

And you liable ways spanning to every degree

As you cower in the shadows in fear to have a real opinion of your own

And you look back and notice your judgment was misplaced – but it’d have no matter to me

Go on and don’t hesitate as you judge me

Brand me whatever brutal thoughts you hold onto

But in the end the mockery trickles in with the potpourri

Of the misconceptions that I won’t take the agony to view

Halfway to the Start

Always believing the lowest

Trusting the insecurities

Following the negativity

That eats away at the brain

And the mind blanks out to all

Not the paranoia and fear

Of selfish claims and ulterior motives

That nothing is true

And there is naught to be certain

About and be caught by

Once falling face and back down

Blind and vulnerable

Guards and wall won’t ever drop down

And we were at the start

But now we get pushed further

Back to the negatives

Past point zero

Terrified and needing a comfort

Holding on to unsure distrust

Gone in time to a place with no

Trust, hope, or belief in

The good of human kind’s

Heart and pureness

Through the tainted lives

We live day by week

By month and year

Forever and eternity apart

Nothing to do except trust

Nothing to change but everything

Nothing to believe in but reality

But trusting nothing

And changing nothing

And believing only worries

We become infinitely further

From the beginning

The start is miles and centuries lost

And we’re halfway to the start

But we waver yet again

Facing the fresher world

Of dry yellow grass

And shaded eyes

And whispered exchanges

And solitude of self benefit

So the distance close splits

Yet again to another half

And we’re yet another halfway

From the start

Such disbelief and anger

Never subsiding

And wallowing in filled silence

Tense and breakable

Snapping in small pressure

Unable to be anything but incomplete

Relationships slashed

Homes burnt in fury

And frozen in ice

The match of lava and hail

Meeting halfway,

Halfway to the start

Catching a Falling Star

Feeling doubt and questioning fate

Engulfed in darkness from afar

But clinging on to the hope late

From catching a falling star

Skies flicker with lights

Wishing on the first star sighted

On one shooting across in flight

Amongst midnight planes piloted

Awaiting the magical properties

Of dreams and fairy tales come true

Star dust not only from a mythical species

Altering the negative view

Even if these are deceiving

Even if already knew surreal

Having such superstitions driving

Having such brings hope of steel

Eyelash undone

Eleven eleven time struck

Each birthday candle done

Earnings tossed in hopes of luck

Fallacy from childhood formed

Maturing, knowing otherwise

But to these we’ve still stormed

Momentarily content in such lies

Something so familiar

Such that is so routine

Sliver of hope remains closer

So keep aiming to catch that falling star

White Lies

Can’t believe that I couldn’t see your lies,

Couldn’t tell what was true

Stared me straight in the eyes

And didn’t falter through and through

Your words but a disguise

False care you displayed

You brought upon yourself this demise

How gullible to fall for such a façade

Told yourself it was only a white lie,

Miniscule and unimportant

Thought you were going to try,

But guess I should have caught the hint

One twist of the truth

A small exaggeration

Only an unnoticeable bend

Just putting a bit of a spin on reality

But who you hurt the most wasn’t me,

Though I look back and wonder

Why you chose to deceive

A terrible blunder

In the end, it goes back to you

You lost my trust and belief

I bid you adieu

You aren’t worth my grief

Whispers

Simply strolling

Silently thinking

Seemingly unaffected

By the turns of the heads

As always, never ceasing

People to gossip cling

Muffled words thrown around

Empty of the truth each sound

Still, walking, head high

Passing confidently by

Not a single tear,

Whimper, or sign of fear

That is merely at a glance

The outer shell, the only chance

If the truth they knew

The act is through

The brave and courageous,

The certain and outrageous

Simply put in authenticity,

Timid, afraid, and hurt in complicity

The whispers tossed about

Brought a confidence drought

Tired of expectations and lies,

The only protecting shield, my guise

Continue striding proudly,

Laughing it off loudly

Surrounded with people genuine,

Repairing the destruction within

Artificially Organic

Feeling nothing whatsoever,
Yet everything simultaneously
Pain and hurt through every endeavor
Hope for numbness, a constant plea

But proximity’s range,
Encloses ones held in endearment
Who deserve not this exchange
So it’s shoved into containment

A seemingly genuine bounce in step,
Brilliant smile that lights up the day,
Encouraging words full of pep,
But the eyes – endless, hopeless grey

Glancing in a hurry,
Depicts the illusion
Of not a single worry
A misfortunate delusion

Those in propinquity of heart’s reality
Know of the deceitful pretense
And together they ache in totality
Knowing naught to infiltrate the defense

So the artificially organic bliss ensues
Façade impenetrable
Countless numbers it shall confuse
Only self-healing held accountable