Showing posts with label Hurt. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Hurt. Show all posts

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Explosive Renewal

Situation expected from the very start
Knew it was coming after your heart
Certain to appear, but when?
Guard dropped momentarily, and then

Blunt and honest; why drop clues?
Upfront and direct; why not if it’s true?
Striking at the heart bandaged from rips before
With sharp stabs that dull and then hit the core

Water collects at the rims
But with a hard swallow, dims
Knowing that it hurts others to see you cry
That they hate the sight of your tears, so you try

Achieving what has not ever before
You cry no more; what is wrong?
Nothing evokes those watery streaks
No matter what emotion from inside sneaks

Feeling everything and nothing simultaneously
All and none at the same time explosively
Confusion sets in, but naught else would
Lingering on not as it should

Emotions built up a firewall
To pick and choose from the ball
Of eternity at once, cluttered
Pounded together, yet still fluttered

Negativity held back
Trying to fill that spot you now lack
Channeling that pent-up anger to production
Channeling that happy relief to laughter

Sadness escapes past the guards for a moment
Brings a wrenching pain’s descent
But no tears fall, ability temporarily lost
Starting that day, emotions combined and crossed

Feeling so fake and surreal
From such control; what was the earlier appeal?
Drawing on emotions; simple crops to pick
Shutting away, pushing aside any painful kicks

Mentioned at all, throbbing pain
Seen at all, continues to strain
But knowing other’s happiness, lightened
A smile forms, rejuvenated and enlightened

An entire lifetime crammed in,
Into the short test of time therein
Closer than most others would ever, could ever, be
Reborn and reincarnated into a new you for the world to see

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Test and Tears

If loving is such a crime

I will gladly do the time

Pass this test and the tears

Taking it on with no fears


Caught in the lie

Fearing plenty though I try

Not to succumb to giving up

Not merely some lovesick pup


Thrashed and beaten through this course

Roughly bashed in river’s force

The waters of love, patchy and cruel

But leading to beauty and life fuel


Nights in bed, mind conflicted

Mornings in hiding, feeling constricted

The waters of love and waters of pain

Flow together from the eyes they stain


But this test will be beaten

As I knew all along, victory then

All worthwhile through wait and ache

As it was for your and my sake


Times gone by so swiftly sly

Such a history in short span by

Knowing one like the other

That differences can’t smother


All so clear and linked

Each thought seems synced

Yet couldn’t be further apart

In everything other than thy heart


Such unusual beginnings start

Before even aware of such a part

Hurt for that of one elsewhere

In memory linked a pair


First and foremost such care

To the extents of despair

Still trudging persistently

Dreams crushed reviving lively

Thursday, June 24, 2010

Planet Yesteryear

Confusion swirls around the mines

Of deepest dark in thoughts alike

Clap with the thunder booming quick

Sing with the rain as sad a song


Dream and perhaps you’ll awaken

Continue dreaming eyes open

Wide and glazed over searching still

Looking far for that last lone star


Liquid dew now condensing perched

Softly roughly upon the face

Green envy and greed consuming

Newborn from friends unfortunate


Pardoned to heaven luxury

Fake yet one cannot, will not, see

With sight blundered hesitation

Yearning for wishing for the sky

While sitting upon such clouds high


Stone cold, dead in the market

People plenty push past busy

Disregard your glare as eyes met

Hurting inside over nothing


Planet yesteryear haunting you

Fear showing through anger flashing

Jealous envy tears appearances false

Never enough for those you wish

For love they shower another


Falling in the hellhole hate

Bleeding a healing heart

True colors of a shattered soul

The crimson tears of bleeding skies


Drowning in the pain of promises lost

Singing that lachrymose lullaby

Of poison kisses and empty embraces

Requiring a placebo for the soul


But none comes to calm the storm

Naught arrives to wash away the numbness

Nothing can dust off the grains of sand

From the lonely beaches of planet yesteryear

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Break Like a Doll

Barbie looks gone with the fantasy life

No more fairy tales, no more daydreams

Realities faced and harsher grown

Like thorns of a rose anew

Barely born yet biting scorn

Tearing through flesh smooth

Carving thy name in blood

Leaving behind scars of recollection


Shattered armor cracked and sliced

Hatchet crashing down

Caressing the porcelain skin so smooth

And a single look from the metal head

Shatters a break down the eye

In a path of human tears

Towards the chest ceramic

Unveiling an iced center eternal


The endless tomorrow of being dead

Trolling around, feet dragging behind

Bags under the eyes drawn on dark as ink

The spray painted base covered in detail

Each wrinkled line etched deeper

And more defined lay the result

Of endless tiredness and broken pieces

Which can make no amends and seeks no repair

Instead fall deeper into the toy box of despair


The games surrounding you

Swirl around your thoughts

Engulfing and digging in

In that confinement, dark and alone

Feelings in ashes, mentality forlorn

Emotions were toyed with

Each action entertainment

Was nothing real?

One can no longer tell


Arm comes ripping off

Leg bent at an awkward angle

Head twisted three sixty

Hair tangled and caught

Upon a hook dangling

Trapped in your own box

Monday, April 5, 2010

Steal My Tears


note: My friend, Emil, saw this and did an arrangement of it and wrote chords and turned it into a song: http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=169034873120457&subj=534179660

Steal my tears away
Game’s too hard for me to play
Laying here tonight
Unable to sleep alright

My mind wanders far
Thoughts adrift to where you are
Heart rarely along
Cannot tell where we went wrong

All the pain and tears
Drowning further in my fears
Spinning out of reach
Walls that we can’t ever breach

Took up all my time
Tore apart my heart and mind
Was it false or true?
Unsure of what I should do

But for you I fought
You have never left my thoughts
Twenty-Four-Seven
Being with you was heaven

You – my other half
Together, we cry and laugh
That way we should stay
So don’t let me slip away

Sunday, March 28, 2010

Blank Page


Cared too much,
Felt too much
Worries and anxiety won over
Caved in to the pressure
Crashed systems unreachable

Slate wiped clean,
Devoid of feeling
Apathy consumes the body
A plague sweeping through
Numbing the senses

Knowing naught and caring naught
A wall constructed to guard
Wanting not to suffer again,
To think of all the aching
Forcing others out

Nothing matters anymore
Life ceases to exist
Mentally shutting down
Until nothing reaches heart or mind
Unresponsive and unmoved

Passive and indifferent
Fading of all will
Motivation lacking
Zero actions taken
Not a word spoken

Friends and family bedridden
Filled with concern
Fretting to agonizing ends
Feeling all which was once felt
Faintly recalling what once was

Friday, March 26, 2010

Artificially Organic


Feeling nothing whatsoever,
Yet everything simultaneously
Pain and hurt through every endeavor
Hope for numbness, a constant plea

But proximity’s range,
Encloses ones held in endearment
Who deserve not this exchange
So it’s shoved into containment

A seemingly genuine bounce in step,
Brilliant smile that lights up the day,
Encouraging words full of pep,
But the eyes – endless, hopeless grey

Glancing in a hurry,
Depicts the illusion
Of not a single worry
A misfortunate delusion

Those in propinquity of heart’s reality
Know of the deceitful pretense
And together they ache in totality
Knowing naught to infiltrate the defense

So the artificially organic bliss ensues
Façade impenetrable
Countless numbers it shall confuse
Only self-healing held accountable