This was my Original Prose and Poetry (OPP) piece for my 2011-2012 Speech and Debate year. Wow. My final year of high school speech and debate... I had a good run. I final-ed at state qualifiers, but unfortunately did not get to attend state. Either way, I'm still rather proud of this piece [: It originated as a satirical, humorous process analysis piece I wrote for English class last year on "How to be the Perfect Frenemy," but then I tweeked it to create some slam poetry type pieces along with a few other additions/changes. Hope you like it!
Gather
for the ultimatum
Angel
and demons gain momentum
Focused
on the battle royale
Tic
Tac Toe style
It
seems simple enough; it is a child’s game. But amongst all those X’s and O’s,
draws emerge. The enlightened angels draw their illuminating halos (O’s) as the
demonic devils screech behind their burning crosses (X’s). You? You’re shy. You’re
shy… You’re... sh-sh-shy…? Head down. Eyes on the ground. Shuffle your feet.
Glipse around. There. There, in the corner, is a table, in plain sight. Sit.
Pull out a piece of paper. Time to doodle. An X, an O, an X, an O, again and
again and… Again the intensity downplays in the eyes of the public. The
unsuspecting observer falls victim to these blinding hugs (O’s) and kisses
(X’s) and is led astray. She naively decides to join what she thought was an
innocent game. Now the angels and demons have decided to join sides, merging
into the lonely individual being born in the eyes of society, and a new round
of tic-tac-toe has begun.
Life
is complicated.
Often
times, we can’t tell who is a friend and who is an enemy.
Sometimes,
we’re left wondering if we’ll ever be the victor, the one that comes out on
top, or if we’ll simply be the straggler left behind.
Unfortunately,
some people stoop to the most desperate, even manipulative, measures,
Especially
us girls.
Join
me today as we explore the demented mind of a girl teaching you the ways to reach
the top.
It’s
easy. It’s step by step. It’s… crazy.
But
you’ve got to plan carefully
In
“The Force Called Frenemy”
An
original.
Step
1: Find your target
The
game has begun
It’s
time for the hunt
Locate
your target
Lock
on and don’t forget
She
should have the same hobbies, interests, extracurriculars; same everything,
other than how she always seems to be on top of things and better (she isn’t
better… you can do it much better).
She will be your latest frenemy. This will be the perfect rivalry to fuel this
endless war. Stalk up to her, as stealthily as a lioness to a gazelle, but
retract your claws. You don’t want to reveal the devil smirking from behind
those angelic wings. Introduce yourself with a sugary sweet smile and invite
her to join you in a game of Tic. Tac. Toe.
Step
2: Build your hatred
Innocent
façade kept all the while
Deep
animosity quickly stockpiles
Stored
away as ammunition
For
her complete annihilation
Breed
your hatred like bloodhounds ready for the hunt. Better yet, breed it like the
bunnies in the rabbit holes. Harbor and bottle up your loathing until beating
your frenemy – so you can be the best at everything – stands as your sole
motivation and purpose in life. Always compare yourself to her because if you
do not beat her in every single test, sport, activity – scratch that – if you
do not beat her at every feat known
to mankind, your organs will light on fire and vaporize into a supernova of
ashes. Even worse than internally combusting, if you do not beat said person,
your parents will rave obsessively over her.
“Why
aren’t you pretty like her?”
“Why
aren’t you smart like her?”
“Why
can’t you be more like her?”
Why
can’t she be their child instead? Why
were you even born? Even worse than
that, your parents will say it’s alright because if you try your best,
everything will be fine. But doing fine
is not fine. You will emerge as the
victor and you will win at
tic-tac-toe. You will show them all.
Step
3: Compete
Life
is a competition
A
place for your abomination
We
start where you learned your X’s and O’s
The
place of your very first blows
School:
where you rush to beat her every score
If
ever to fail,
-heartbeat
sounds- A minus.
you
must prepare more
You’ll
just stay away from everyone other than your angels and demons, perfecting your
skills.
In
sports of every kind
Winning
has made you blind
Hog
the ball, make the most shots
Tie
her shoelaces into knots
Trip
her and beat her black and blue
Then
smile and apologize as if true
Only
an accident, you’re such a klutz
But
healthy competition is a must
So
sprint and race her for the mile, even if you puke; get dizzy; pass out.
Actually, why stop with the mile? Race her no matter the distance, even if it
is less than a foot away; after all, the tic-tac-toe grid is a matter of
inches.
Step
4: Remember you’re better
Not
only the first but also the best
Until
you have it all, you cannot rest
Going
broke? That’s of no issue…
Then
you’ll be first at that too!
Even
the quality of the air around you must be better. Now, you are wondering how
that could possibly be since we all breathe the same air, right? Wrong. The air
you breathe is better. Why? Simply because you are breathing it. Each breath
fuels your life and your life purpose: beating your frenemy. At night, stay up
talking to her. Load yourself on caffeine if you have to, but do NOT go to bed
until she has. You cannot be tired; sleep is for the weak. If she only got two
hours of sleep, you only got one. If she pulls an all-nighter, you say, “The
concept of sleep? Psh. Hasn’t even crossed my mind.” Instead, you stay up
strategically continuing the game of Tic. Tac. Toe.
Step
5: Betrayal
Infiltrate
enemy grounds
Within
late night talks, information found
She
confided in you her life and more
Never
expecting what’s in store
No
need to be a small fly on the wall
No
need to be a simple wall flower
No
need to send angels and demons snooping
Because
you already have this power
She
unknowingly poses as the source
Her
demise is straight on course
When
she steps away: Unveil her crush. Expose that her F. Trash-talk that trash she
was wearing. Talk about how much it clashes with those shades she “shoplifted”
from the mall. Imitate the nasal sound of her voice. Bask in the glorious
feeling of near success. Taste the sweetness of near victory. Listen to the
bravura of the devil’s smirking remarks. Watch as the X’s and O’s play out the
way you planned all along.
Step
6: The final touch
To
complete your masterpiece string
You
are missing but one thing
To
claim what is hers as yours
And
you’ll have unlocked all doors
Spread
rumors and gossip
Then
go with your own lips
Tell
her boyfriend she wants to split
He’ll
break it off to avoid the hit
Comfort
both sides secretly
Continue
on innocently
“She’s
missing out. I don’t know why she’s been treating you like trash to be thrown
out.”
“Out
with him! He was such a jerk!”
Now
here’s your chance to leap
“How about you and I go out?”
But
a sympathetic façade you must keep
“Things happen for a reason; maybe
this is just how it was meant to be.”
It
somehow turned out this way
“Funny how things go, that you and I
are here today.”
And
you’re sorry to say
“I’m so sorry; let’s stay friends
anyway?”
Inside,
however, you gloat and exclaim
As
the X’s and O’s line up and you’ve won the game
Step
7: The Aftermath
But
always act caring and never let on
A
frenemy is friend and enemy and a bit of a pawn
They
are a rival of sorts
But
only shall see the side you contort
Tell
your two-sided conscience to shut up and comply
As
in the end they aren’t too different in your lie
You
are another battle closer to the end of this endless war, alone and
companionless yet again. You won your solitude back. You won the animosity of
another frenemy. You won the complete destruction of another life. You won the
sweet, masochistic corrosion of your own life. Who needs friends when you can
have frenemies? Who else do you need to confide in other than the angels and
demons inside your head? And when others start to get jealous and tell you
“It’s all in your head,” you know that it is
all in your head – planned out exactly the way you want it.
Tic.
Tac. Toe.
