Public Eye

I wrote a poem

and someone asked me if it was about you,

but from you, my mind and I do roam;

we are not stuck together by invincible glue.

I reread my words

and asked myself why that question was automatic.

Was it not my own voice and experience heard?

I guess it could apply to anything really, thought based in specifics.

I rewrote my life

as I moved myself away from what was,

but that’s still a part of my past strife –

not only in glimpses and fuzz.

Why does public eye choose what gets over-blown?

Am I no longer a person on my own?

Cons of Your Pros Not Cons

Generator running

Back-up power switched on

Elevators moving

All of the pros and almost none of the cons

Just a week off to vacation and explore

Some wind and rain outside

“What’s the big deal?” you implore

We have a place to reside

But leave it anyway to go out and about

Where is the media getting its hype and clamor?

There’s always another route

Get out of town, walk around, enamor

Have you cared though to look?

More than out the window and down a few feet?

Through laughing eyes and the camera lens nook?

To the blocks shut down, evacuated, drowned and beat?

Generator running – but so are you

Back-up power switched on – but perception switched off

Elevators moving – but is your upper floor functioning true?

Pros for you and cons for them – all that’s in common: a common cough

Mentality

Mentality

You questioned mine

Contradictory

Why would I spend my time and money

Other than on myself, to wine and dine?

Mentality

Why would I choose to pay to go overseas

To give aid to those whose lives aren’t as fine?

Contradictory

You say I have a good heart and generosity

But then you say to care for my success first – that’s the bottom line

Mentality

Contradictory

Jail Cell of Memory

You were just some boy

I didn’t even know your existence

I didn’t even know your name

Then you spoke to me

A single goodbye

And you had my brain entangled

I had to know more

I had to satiate my curiosity

I didn’t know what I was getting

            myself into

            my heart into

            my emotions into

            my life into

Except that I did

I knew

you were that boy

you would have your life

you would have admirers

you would have your flaws

you would make me forget – or, rather, not care

you would break my heart

you would one day leave, be gone, be free

A final goodbye

            just as it started, it would end

            you with your singular line – your single goodbye

            and I would be caught off guard

Stunned

            into silence

            heart pierced

mind racing, wondering, curious

by need, to be satiated

without a response to sustain moment

And eventually, you have been erased

– removed, except not really

And that goodbye, that forgetting

            is the best and worst moment of my life

Because I cannot deal with all the pain and tears

            that you caused me

            that I brought upon myself in my paranoia, my silence, my presence by your presence

Glad to be away from it all,

            Yet I want to be back again

Glad to know I’ll still have you in my brain and heart

– memory

yet I want to know why can’t I free you

            from this jail cell within me

                        and why can’t this jail cell let me free?

Locking up these emotions and thoughts and memories

            is the best and the worst for me

                        it was and is the death and life of you and me

                                    and of you

and of I

Marriage of Time and Nature

Father Time:
He sees the leaves turn green and life give birth.
He stirs the leaves in the wind and tends to the house and mends the socks.
He lets the leaves die, licking at it with tongues of fire.

Mother Nature:
Is she dead?
Reach out for her?
She isn't dead.
She reaches out for him.

Father Time:
He flees from her.

Mother Nature:
She is following.

Father Time and Mother Nature:
Are they dying and at their end?
Are they continuing in their cycle?
No, they are dying in cycles
And continuing through ends.

Us:
We see
We feel
We live
We are a part of
This marriage of Time and Nature

Us:
We grow old
We leave
We say goodbye
We are no longer a part of
This marriage of Time and Nature

Three

Three. More than three.
Reckless drivers. Turning corners.
Eyes only 5000 miles away at where they are supposed to be
The cars a blur, the trees a blur, the signs a blur, the people a blur, the blurs blur

No sounds get through; they can't get through
The roaring engines of the hum of your voice
The beating music of thoughts your mind accrues
The swish of the cars' 5 wheels turning, uniformly and without much choice

Three. More than three.
Calmed bikers. Peddling straight.
Eyes as far as 5000 steps would make be.
The cars will wait, the lights will change, the signs will stay, you won't be late

Then sound envelopes you  with a screech, thud, clash, halt
Front wheel crashed and bent, bike flat on the cement
Your cheek blushing like the sun, crying leaves of red, kissing the asphalt
And I am home, wondering where you went

Minutes pass and I am admiring the sun
Hours pass and I now am admiring the moon
Days pass and I am admiring the changes in the sky
Thoughts pass and I am still wondering where you went

Under this sun, your face burns against the scrapes
Under this moon, you're walking back home
Under this sky, they drive on by
Under the impression that one, three, more than three, isn't much to give to get where they need to be

Minutes into hours into days into eternity
Until finally you show your face to me
Upon it drying blood, peeled skin, the hickey of the sidewalk's embrace
But I am admiring the smile on your face