The dropping feeling in your gut
People may say it is cliché
But have you ever experienced it
Then you too will say
That horrid silence of no breath
Mixed with the dreadful emptiness
Of the stomach filled with anticipation
Sprinkled with the endless heartbeat
Racing time in reverse
Slow motion seems endless
Right on cue as if you would rehearse
But who wants this practice?
Wishing it wasn’t so familiar
Wanting to flee from this dread omen
The draw to go run, hide, die, disappear
All to avoid that look, disappointment
Anger, rage, silence, d-day
Something and everything
It shall happen either way
Let the dread omen sing
Only time will truly tell
But past and premonition foretells
Fallen into trap and spell
Stomach knotted, bottomless wells
Don’t deny it now, I’m already sold
It’s sure to come soon
The future has been told
It happened already last sun and moon
I'm gonna be honest that I wasn't a huge fan of this one. It had some interesting ideas in it, but I didn't feel terribly captivated by the language, and I think a lot of that has to do with the flow of the poem. Each stanza almost seems like a stopping point, but then it continues on. It is almost as if each stanza was written to be one whole idea, and the next stanza a new idea. Rather, a poem ought to have flowing momentum that only makes you pause at critical moments.
ReplyDeleteNever-the-less, nice job. You should definitely update more often.
Hi Vanessa,
ReplyDeleteI just found your blog on Gaia and am really interested so far. It's inspiring for me because I've just started blogging and plan to upload some of my own writing soon!
Keep up the great work, and please check out my blog when you have the time!
Peter