Judge Me

Complete strangers

Possibly have met just now

But already lingers

This label on me you endow

What was this impression summoned from?

My face, hair, eyes?

Was it because of where I’m from?

Or the way I said hello; so now it must be goodbye?

Either way it’s engraved

Near impossible to erase

Forever in your memory enslaved

From this one foundation and base

But how do you know what to decide?

So certain so early on?

By what rules and regulations do you abide?

Are we simply in a game as simply pawns?

Is there something we are destined to be?

Is it how we are to be?

Is it who we are meant to be?

Is there no way around what people expect us to be?

Even if we are not at all what they believe

They won’t be completely swayed otherwise

Thinking we have something to hide up our sleeve

That we’re in one of our multitudes, a complex disguise

When you haven’t even gotten to know who I am really,

When you do not see what is below the surface level,

When you think my entire life’s experience shows externally,

When you pinpoint me with your judgment disheveled

Already you think I’ve done wrong

Pulling me aside with “reasonable” reasons

That right given to you and another taken from me – if it was even there all along

Because with this profiling, who’s to be sure of anything – let alone judgment’ seasons?

From such insecurities of differences

Afraid of those not just like you in beliefs as well as appearance

Displaying strongly your preferences

Because your views are shadowed by your bigotry and ignorance

So go ahead and judge me

But I won’t keep it at heart

Because opinions such are yours don’t matter, you see

Your definition does not define me, not even a part

I know it makes you feel better about yourself

But it shouldn’t to bring down others as pariahs and monsters

When you cannot even accept your faults on shelf

No criminal act outside could erase these blunders, no matter what you’d prefer

In time reality will catch up to you, down to each muscle and bone

And you liable ways spanning to every degree

As you cower in the shadows in fear to have a real opinion of your own

And you look back and notice your judgment was misplaced – but it’d have no matter to me

Go on and don’t hesitate as you judge me

Brand me whatever brutal thoughts you hold onto

But in the end the mockery trickles in with the potpourri

Of the misconceptions that I won’t take the agony to view

Explosive Renewal

Situation expected from the very start

Knew it was coming after your heart

Certain to appear, but when?

Guard dropped momentarily, and then

Blunt and honest; why drop clues?

Upfront and direct; why not if it’s true?

Striking at the heart bandaged from rips before

With sharp stabs that dull and then hit the core

Water collects at the rims

But with a hard swallow, dims

Knowing that it hurts others to see you cry

That they hate the sight of your tears, so you try

Achieving what has not ever before

You cry no more; what is wrong?

Nothing evokes those watery streaks

No matter what emotion from inside sneaks

Feeling everything and nothing simultaneously

All and none at the same time explosively

Confusion sets in, but naught else would

Lingering on not as it should

Emotions built up a firewall

To pick and choose from the ball

Of eternity at once, cluttered

Pounded together, yet still fluttered

Negativity held back

Trying to fill that spot you now lack

Channeling that pent-up anger to production

Channeling that happy relief to laughter

Sadness escapes past the guards for a moment

Brings a wrenching pain’s descent

But no tears fall, ability temporarily lost

Starting that day, emotions combined and crossed

Feeling so fake and surreal

From such control; what was the earlier appeal?

Drawing on emotions; simple crops to pick

Shutting away, pushing aside any painful kicks

Mentioned at all, throbbing pain

Seen at all, continues to strain

But knowing other’s happiness, lightened

A smile forms, rejuvenated and enlightened

An entire lifetime crammed in,

Into the short test of time therein

Closer than most others would ever, could ever, be

Reborn and reincarnated into a new you for the world to see

Halfway to the Start

Always believing the lowest

Trusting the insecurities

Following the negativity

That eats away at the brain

And the mind blanks out to all

Not the paranoia and fear

Of selfish claims and ulterior motives

That nothing is true

And there is naught to be certain

About and be caught by

Once falling face and back down

Blind and vulnerable

Guards and wall won’t ever drop down

And we were at the start

But now we get pushed further

Back to the negatives

Past point zero

Terrified and needing a comfort

Holding on to unsure distrust

Gone in time to a place with no

Trust, hope, or belief in

The good of human kind’s

Heart and pureness

Through the tainted lives

We live day by week

By month and year

Forever and eternity apart

Nothing to do except trust

Nothing to change but everything

Nothing to believe in but reality

But trusting nothing

And changing nothing

And believing only worries

We become infinitely further

From the beginning

The start is miles and centuries lost

And we’re halfway to the start

But we waver yet again

Facing the fresher world

Of dry yellow grass

And shaded eyes

And whispered exchanges

And solitude of self benefit

So the distance close splits

Yet again to another half

And we’re yet another halfway

From the start

Such disbelief and anger

Never subsiding

And wallowing in filled silence

Tense and breakable

Snapping in small pressure

Unable to be anything but incomplete

Relationships slashed

Homes burnt in fury

And frozen in ice

The match of lava and hail

Meeting halfway,

Halfway to the start